As we start the New Year, many of us have New Year’s resolutions.  We have resolutions to get into shape, learn something new or change something broken.  Happiness starts within.  The first step begins with you.  Only you can change your life.  We recite these statements to ourselves thinking they alone are going to be what changes us.  These statements are true; “WE” are largely in control of our own happiness and success.  However, we must not forget that the greatest goals in life, or even some of the smallest ones, can’t be done alone.  Life is a multi-player game, not meant to be played solo.  The man who walks alone with the assumption of succeeding is a fool.  I know this because I’ve been a fool on many occasions.  I’ve always been a bit stubborn when it comes to asking for help.  But I’m working on it.  Call it my New Year’s resolution.

Whether it’s someone guiding us, walking along side us, or pushing us from behind, we all need help to attain our goals.  It all may begin from within, but once it hits the surface, it’s a united effort.  In the Martial Arts, each individual has their own goals and their own pace, but going at it alone is the least efficient way of training.  We need instructors to teach us, fellow students to help motivate us and push us harder, and eventually students of our own to help keep us on our toes with fresh questions and ideas leading us to continue our own studies and not become stale.

We also must stop and ask ourselves, “What are we truly searching for?”  Do you want to get in shape for a healthier you?  Or because you want the hottie next door to recognize you?  Many of us seek more money.  Why?  It’s simply paper.  Not even that anymore, now it’s just numbers being sent from your employer to your bank and then to the store where you make your purchases.  What do you want to come from that money?  That is your true goal.  This is important; as it may change your entire path to success and who you seek help from.

I leave you with a poem, lyrics from one of my favorite musicians.  Whether we’re in need of a guiding hand from a friend, a partner in life, a mentor, spiritual guidance, or maybe even a bunch of minions to do you bidding, we must understand that desire, courage, muscle and might may get you started on your path, but these attributes will never be enough as some things in life go beyond what we can do alone.

Nature, nurture, heaven, and home,
Sum of all, and by them, driven.
To conquer every mountain shown,
But I’ve never crossed the river.

Brave the forest, brave the stone,
Brave the icy winds and fire.
Braved and beat them on my own,
Yet I’m helpless by the river.

Angel, angel, what have I done?
I face the quakes, the wind, the fire.
I’ve conquered country, crown, and throne.
Why can’t I cross this river?

Pay no mind to the battles you’ve won,
It’ll take a lot more than rage and muscle.
Open your heart and hands, my son,
Or you’ll never make it over the river.

It’ll take a lot more than words and guns,
A whole lot more than riches and muscle.
The hands of many must join as one,
And together we’ll cross the river.

And together we’ll cross the river…

-Maynard James Keenan