You stand in the middle of the training center with your brand new brown belt wrapped around your waist.  A white belt walks up to you and asks if they are doing their technique correctly.  You correct their technique and with gratitude they say, “thank you sir!  I wish I could be like you someday!”.  You feel pretty good about yourself.  A few more lower ranks walk up to you and you help them as well.  You’re starting to feel important, like you have all of the answers!  You’re the “go to guy” when the instructor is busy!

Then it happens, a lower rank asks you a question that you don’t know.  What do you do?  You can’t let them see that you don’t have all of the answers.  Your status as the “go to guy” is in jeopardy!  So you start BS’ing, hoping to pull an answer out of thin air.  It doesn’t have to be the right answer. It just has to seem correct.  You did it!  They bought it!  Now back to working on your own techniques.

You have a question, but you can’t ask.  God forbid the lower ranks see that you don’t know everything.  Everyone is watching you in awe over how well you flawlessly do your material.  Oh no!  You’ve come to that technique that”˜s been kicking your butt lately, you just can’t seem to do it correctly.  But everyone is watching.  You can’t look like a fool!  You decide to skip it for now.  You’ll practice it later you tell yourself.  You go back to practicing the techniques you’re really good at; you have to keep impressing everyone!

Flash forward a number of years.  Not only have you received your black belt, but you’ve begun teaching!  You now have an entire group of students in awe of you and your abilities!  “You’re the greatest!” they all say.

Over the years, the hype builds more and more.  As it should be, they’ve never seen you make a mistake with any technique. You’ve always managed to avoid that technique when people are watching.  You answer every one of their questions with confidence even though many of your answers are just BS you come up with on the spot.  The rumors of how you took down 5 guys in a street fight all by yourself must be true. You told them the story yourself.  And when they ask why you don’t teach a certain technique that another instructor teaches, you let them know how ridiculous that technique is and how it would never work since its never worked for you (as you have never learned it).  And there it is; you’re no longer a martial artist, you’re a walking egomaniac with a belt around your waist that doesn’t even hold up your pants let alone represent who you are.

We all have it.  Whether it’s from our profession, our hobbies, the sports we play, to the sports we cheer for.  We all have egos.  Some are just more prevalent than others!  The martial arts are no different.  As a matter of fact, egos tend to run rampant!  It seems almost mandatory for an instructor to have an ego.  Bow to your instructor.  Say “Yes Sir!” or “Yes Ma’am!”.  Never second guess your instructor.  These are really just signs of respect, but they build up that ego just the same if you’re not careful.

When the ego grows, the learning stops.  We’re so afraid of people seeing us make mistakes that we stop learning just to hold on to that ego and that deception of being the best.  We think people will stop looking up to us, stop asking us questions, stop being our students, stop respecting us.  Maybe.  You may have a person or two that only wants perfection, so they leave.  Guess what? That was going to happen anyway.  No one’s perfect and you can’t attain something that isn’t there.  These aren’t the people you need around you, learning from you, buying from you, or just standing by you as a friend.  I know, I’ve been there, I’ve had swollen head syndrome before!  It’s quite lonely when you place yourself above everyone else and it’s a hard drop off of your pedestal WHEN you fall.  All we can do is be ourselves and offer our teachings to those who are interested.  People may not always follow you, but you tend to have plenty that walk beside you.  You’ll learn more, create great experiences (not just rumors) and there will always be someone there to pick you up if you fall.