Give me, my God, what you still have;
Give me what no one asks for. 

I do not ask for wealth, nor for success,
Nor even health. 

People ask you so often, God, for all that,
That you cannot have any of left. 

Give me God, what you still have.
Give me what people refuse to accept from you. 

I want insecurity and disquietude;
I want turmoil and brawl.

 And if you should give them to me,
My God, once and for all,

Let me be sure to have them always,
for I will not always
have the courage to ask for them.

 Give me, my God, what you have left over,
Give me what others want nothing to do with.

 But give me courage too,
And strength and faith; 

For you alone can give
What one cannot demand from oneself.

 -Prayer found on Lieutenant Andre Zirnheld, SAS ““ Killied in action on July 26, 1941

 

“I hope all this bad luck stops soon!”  “I pray things get better for me!”  “I wish this was all easier!”  Any of these statements sound familiar?  Maybe they, or something similar, have been uttered even today?  It’s normal, we all hope for things to be easier or to be better.  But do we really want that?  If you spent your whole life being rewarded with everything you wanted and never had to work hard or live through diversity and tough times, would you really appreciate it?  Of course not.  It’s the tough and difficult times that make us appreciate the good times and develop our character.  And it’s the end of a good thing that makes you want to make the most of it.  Many times we find ourselves pushing and grinding through a bad day wishing things would get better, yet not changing anything we are doing.  That’s the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.   It’s tough to do, but we have to start making changes.  The problem is, what we want is the big stuff, and the big stuff is daunting, seemingly too much for us to do.  So instead, we take the comfortable route of doing nothing at all and spending our day wishing and hoping things change on their own.  We’re accustom to it, even if we don’t like it.  This is one of the many reasons domestic abuse victims stay with their abuser.  The fear of change and uncertainty is greater than the fear of the abuse, since they’ve already experienced the abuse.  Ever heard of the saying, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know?”  What we need to understand is to make the small changes first.  A body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest, stays at rest.  Any motion at all can have a snowball effect and those little changes can turn into big changes.

Over the years I’ve watched, participated in and judged many martial arts testings.  Some were quite boring and even the students that passed seemed underwhelmed and unexcited to receive their new belt.  These students usually didn’t have to work hard at it, they put just enough effort into it to pass the bare minimum requirements.  Most of these students end up leaving and gaining virtually nothing from the experience.  Some even stay long enough to make it to black belt, but then quickly quit afterwards.  It was just another notch in the belt for them.  Other testings though were quite inspiring to watch and judge or even participate in.  These students were different.  For many, they had failed at previous attempts to gain rank.  For others, it was working day after day on a technique that they just couldn’t seem to get, until testing.  For some it was doing something they never thought possible.  Others still, specifically those going for their black belt, it was them going through the gauntlet that is the black belt testing and being exhausted in every ounce of their body and being knocked down over and over, to where a normal person would have been broken, only to realize they are still standing, knowing that each time they stood back up, each small step forward and every second they stand there not giving up, is a small victory headed towards a larger victory, their black belt, which in turn can be a small step towards another victory, a transformation of self.  These are the moments we yearn for as martial artists.  Standing there at the end of it all looking back at the hell you went through and knowing that if you’ve done it once, you can do it again, and again, and again.  Everything else seems easy now.  And it’s always worth it when you finally taste success.  One success will lead to others, and soon your lofty goals when you started are being realized.

Be driven by something bigger than yourself.

Ask a person to fight for themselves and you might get a half assed attempt, if any at all.  But ask someone to fight for their child, loved one or something they believe in and watch them do things you never thought possible.  It’s engrained in us to do so, its how our species (and all species that live in groups) survived throughout history.  We fight for the greater good of our species, even if it means sacrificing our own comfort or even lives.  I’ve noticed something over the years, those who have something bigger than them self to fight for tend to be more successful in accomplishing their goals.  It doesn’t really matter what that something is, we just tend to fight harder for everything but ourselves and when we feel others depend on us to get the job done.  I fight for my students and clients success and truly believe that I can have an impact on creating a better society, even if it’s through my students, or students of students, years down the road.  It’s what drives me to do what I do every day and to push through the difficult times and why I’ve consistently ignored those who have said I can’t win the battle I’m fighting.

The poem at the end of this article may have been geared towards a military soldier, but to me, it’s about all warriors.  Warriors don’t just fight with guns on a battle field.  Some warriors fight as teachers, others as parents, others still as volunteers.  At the end of the day, it’s all for the same thing, the greater good, helping others become successful or live more fulfilling and free lives.  While both the poem at the beginning and poem at the end may seem to be geared towards religion or spirituality, that’s not the point, nor a necessity.  Everyone finds their “something bigger” in different places, and can experience their own personal heaven and hell right here on earth.

A mother, still in her prime, stricken with cancer had to make a decision.  A decision to take the cancer treatments that could extend her life briefly but leave her horribly ill, or pass away sooner without the additional pain and suffering.  She had sworn all her life she would never take chemo, that it wasn’t worth it just to stay alive in that condition and that the pain and sickness wasn’t worth the extended life.  So when the doctors said it would only add a few weeks to her life, it should have been an easy answer.  Yet, she decided to take the treatment that would prolong the agony of the disease.  Why?  Because she was a mother of three, and in particular, a six year old boy whose only world was her.  She needed more time to teach him as much as she could before she left this world and left him on his own.  Not just to survive, but to thrive, and possibly even do something great with his life.  She may not have had a plan on how to go about teaching him these things, or even if he’d remember what she did for him, but she had to try.  That mother was my mother, and that six year old child was me.  My memory of that time is quite foggy and distorted, and I don’t know what she taught me during that time, but it doesn’t matter.  What she did to spend that extra time with me was all that was needed to teach me something special.  What we think we are capable of in life is just a fraction of what we really are capable of when we have something to fight for that is greater than us.  I urge you to find that something, and to fight for it to enrich your life and the lives around you.

The Final Inspection

The warrior stood and faced God,

Which will always come to pass,

He hoped his shoes were shining,

Just as brightly as his brass.

 

“Step forward now, old warrior,

How shall I deal with you?

Have you always turned the other cheek?

To My Church have you been true?

 

The warrior squared his shoulders and

Said, “No, Lord, I guess I ain’t.

“˜Cause those of us who carry guns

Can’t always be a saint.

 

“I’ve had to work most Sundays,

And at times my walk was tough,

And sometimes I’ve been violent,

“˜Cause the world is awfully rough.

 

“But, I never took a penny

That wasn’t mine to keep.

Though I worked a lot of overtime

When the bills got just too steep,

 

“And I never passed a cry for help,

Though at times I shook with fear,

And sometimes, God forgive me,

I’ve wept unmanly tears.

 

“I know I don’t deserve a place

Among the people here,

They never wanted me around

Except to calm their fears.

 

“If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,

It needn’t be so grand.  In life

I didn’t expect nor need too much,

So if you don’t, I’ll understand.”

 

There was a silence all around the throne,

Where the saints had often trod,

As the warrior stood quietly.

For the judgment of his God.

 

“Step forward now, my warrior,

You’ve born your burdens well,

Walk peacefully on Heaven’s streets,

You’ve done your time in Hell.”

 

–Sgt Joshua Helterbran