I need you to get me into better shape. 

I need you to teach my child discipline.

You’re going to get me to black belt, right?

Can you help me get into better shape?

Can you help me teach my child discipline?

What do I have to do to earn my black belt?

While all of these statements and questions may look similar, have the same suggested meaning, and even lead down the same paths, only three of these lines will lead to success. You and You’re versus Me and My. I can’t create success for you, but I can provide the opportunity for “YOU” to create success.

Maybe its intuition, or my amazing powers of observation, or just experience of seeing the same end result over and over, year in and year out, I don’t know. But I can usually figure out if a new client or student will be successful within just a few minutes of talking to them. I think most teachers, instructors, coaches and trainers recognize the same thing. Simple words like “you” or “me” are indicators of your mindset, outlook and chance of success in what I’m about to teach you. While it doesn’t change the way I teach a student or train a client, admittedly, I tend to go above and beyond for those who are self driven and sometimes don’t have as much enthusiasm when working with students and clients that don’t put forth the effort.

I’ve had many parents bring in their children looking for me, alone, to “fix” them or teach them discipline. While I’m glad they brought their child to me and am always glad to help, the fact of the matter is, I can’t change your child’s attitude or lack of discipline on my own. Two 45 minute classes a week is not enough time to spend with a child to do much of anything other than teach them some techniques. There needs to be a heavy effort on the parent’s side to make the needed adjustments. This same thing is true for those looking to improve themselves. The effort, hard work and desire have to come from the student or client themselves. It’s like the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”. It doesn’t matter what I teach or how I teach it, if that teaching isn’t absorbed, nurtured and practiced, then it’s all for nothing.

Not everyone was given the same opportunities in life, and many have to work harder than others to accomplish their success, but no one has been banned from success. All are free to attain it, but it has to come from them, not others. It’s easy to depend on others for our success, that way we can blame others when it’s not attained. But if we spend our lives depending on someone else to create our success or for the pieces to fall perfectly into place before we begin working for our success, then we’ll never be successful. Our happiness and success are in our own hands, not others. So change your “you’s” to “me’s” and alter your mindset to clear way for self attained success!