My first real job was when I was 16 years old. It was as a dishwasher at my least favorite local restaurant. I seem to recall being able to have a steak dinner for under $10 if that gives you an idea of the kind of super high class restaurant this was. The senior citizens who, I assume lost their taste buds in the war, LOVED it though. My dad was against me working while in high school as he felt it would negatively affect my grades since it would involve working from 5pm to as late as 2am during weeknights at times. I brilliantly counterpointed his argument by explaining that I was already bombing my classes so I couldn’t fall off the floor. After a verbal adjustment from my father, he allowed me to take the job if I promised to improve my grades and he would make me quit if not. I agreed.

I learned the first day in the kitchen that it was an absolutely disgusting job. I mistakenly didn’t wear gloves or a face mask as I blindly reached into one tub of dirty dishes after another spraying high powered water at them creating a cloud of pre-chewed food around my face. I’ve pulled dentures, retainers, ash trays full of ashes and even dirty diapers out of those tubs…spraying all of them right back into my face and up my nose. Have you ever had baby poo mixed with cigarette ashes shot back into your face? After a brief vomiting session, I was right back at it.

I worked there for about 6 months and had constant cold-like symptoms, a thick layer of oil across my face and neck that I could never seem to fully remove, and developed 11 warts on my hands that had to be frozen off. I did it all for a whopping $4.25 an hour, the minimum wage at the time. Needless to say, I didn’t like the job….I LOVED it! Yes, all that stuff I mentioned sucked. Big time. Yet, there were two things that made it all worthwhile. For one, I never had money before, aside from a few dollars here and there I collected from babysitting neighbors, mowing yards, and searching friend’s couch cushions to save up for a new (many times used) album from the music store across town. The second reason I loved it, and the focus of this article, the people I worked with.

The town and state I grew up in was extremely conservative and religious. That’s all I really knew. Everyone I knew was essentially the same in many ways. Income level, religious and political views, cultural expectations, morals, values…all basically the same. That wasn’t the case at this restaurant. Every aspect of humanity was represented in this kitchen. You name it, we had that person working in the kitchen…and then throw in a guy with breast implants who calls himself Jane (name has been changed to protect the strange). The restaurant usually closed by 10pm, but we stayed in the kitchen cleaning and hanging out until 12, 1, sometimes even 2am just shooting the shit. I was quite hesitant of everyone the first couple days as they were so different from anything I knew.

Being exposed to people that I didn’t even know existed, let alone was ever exposed to, was extremely eye opening to me. It didn’t necessarily instantly change my mind on anything, but it did open my mind to what others deal with and how all walks of life can work together and be friends even when you may be completely opposite in some…or all aspects, which later did eventually change my mind on many things. The job was so fast paced that there just wasn’t time to stop and hate anyone or avoid anyone. We had to work together or the kitchen would fall apart, as the restaurant was extremely busy at all hours. None of the other jobs, classes, groups and programs I’ve been involved with had this much diversity and necessity to work together without thought…except one other, Martial Arts.

Walk down the street, into a restaurant, in a bar, any place, anywhere and you may see a group of people with nice shoes and clothes, others with less than formal wear, and some with a specific style of clothing or hairdo’s. Typically, they’re in all separate groups. The formal wear talking to formal wear, the informal wear talking to the informal wear. Rich talking to rich, poor talking to poor, athletes talking to non-athletes, so on and so forth. Whether or not people stick to these groups because they have negative thoughts towards others or because they have more in common with the groups they’re in is irrelevant. It separates us, holds us back from understanding other point of views, and solidifies how OUR group is the best group…albeit through ignorance. Yet walk into a martial arts studio and you’ll notice everyone working and enjoying the company of everyone regardless of their gender, race, wealth, cultural background or even age and respecting each other without hesitation.

After more than 25 years of martial arts training, I don’t recall seeing discriminatory behavior on the training floor. I’m sure it’s happened, I just haven’t recognized it in my classroom or other schools with whom I’ve visited. I’ve seen plenty of students not want to work with other students, but it usually had to do with one youth student seeing another youth student picking his nose and not wanting to be touched by him or an overly zealous student who always seems to go too hard. When it comes to race or religion, political views, income levels or whatever else, however, I just haven’t seen it be an issue. These days, especially, it seems to be a rarity.

There is division everywhere you look. People hiding in their groups, fearing, hating or looking down on others just because they are in a different group. Martial Arts has a way of stripping away your preconceived notions and any biases you may have. All that matters is the training and finding ways to be better than yesterday. You don’t even need to speak the same language. I’ve taught students who didn’t know a single word of English. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how rich you are, you will get punched in the nose if you don’t keep your guard up. It doesn’t matter what religion you believe in or don’t believe in, if you don’t learn your material, you won’t go up in rank. It doesn’t matter who you voted for, if you don’t follow your instructor’s advice, you won’t break that board. It doesn’t matter how much stress I have when I approach the dojang floor (martial arts training area), the second I set foot on those mats, the outside world disappears and the only thing that matters is what’s in front of me that will lead to making me (or my students) better.

I was 13 when I took my first steps on my instructor’s dojang floor. That same day a man most likely 3 times my age did the same thing. I knew his name and that was all. We trained together for about a year and depended on each other to improve. He was my best friend in class. We joked all class long while learning our forms and punching each other. It was great! I never would have met him if it wasn’t for martial arts. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had students walk into my studio as loners or outsiders who struggle to make friends, instantly make a room full of friends. A couple years into my training, I watched as a school bully walked through the doors to sign up for classes. He had caused me a problem or two in the past, and definitely caused my friends some issues on a regular basis. He was your run of the mill, oversized, dumbass bully with an ego problem. I couldn’t just ignore him, nor did the thought even cross my mind. I had to help him learn his material. I worked with him for a few minutes, and any issues we had were eliminated. He was still a douchebag at school, but a douchebag that would smile and say hello as we passed in the hall. Martial arts levels the playing field in a way I’ve never seen before and I love it.

I find myself wondering why all biases and prejudices seem to dissolve in the dojang. Could it be that we all wear the same bland uniform to disguise our wealth or lack thereof? Or disguises our traditional cultural garb that may trigger someone who doesn’t know better? Is it that we are all there for the same reason, on the same level, respecting and learning from the same person and training in the same way with no deviation to cause arguments that lead to division? Is it that we are so focused on accomplishing a task and in need of others in class to help us accomplish that task that we don’t have time to discriminate? Or is it that we just have created a bigger group to be a part of? Personally, I believe It’s because the instructor is just so damn charming and good looking that everyone is mesmerized….I can only speak about my own school in this regard, of course…as some of my instructor friends have clearly blocked too many punches with their faces…no offense! Seriously though, I don’t know. I’m just glad it does.

To be fair, martial arts isn’t perfect. While I’ve never had issues with discrimination within class, there is still discrimination between schools or styles, unfortunately. I assume being a martial arts practitioner, there might be a bias against those who are not. However this is on such a small scale and my point, of the discrimination not being on the dojang floor and befriending those with whom you may never have met otherwise, still applies. On a completely unrelated note, I’m convinced no one really knows when to use, “whom” over “who”, and since no one knows, we just assume if it’s used, that it’s correct. I’m banking on that assumption, so let’s carry on.

Thanks to martial arts, I’ve met nearly every different type of human on this awkward planet…and befriended every one. In this day in age, where the world seems to be divided and splintered in far too many factions, we need martial arts more than ever. I’ve learned so much about people I never would have taken the time to meet elsewhere and accepted so much about people that I may never have accepted or taken the time to learn or understand. Maybe the answer to all of the world’s problems…is to train martial arts together? Can’t hurt. I’ve seen no faster way to make friends than to trade punches with them. Nothing else seems to be working, so let’s give it a try?