There was a time when TV’s (with only 13 channels), a radio and books were about the only thing that had potential to take us away from human interaction.  And even then, there was generally only one TV in a household so the whole family gathered to watch.  Today?  Each member of the house has their own TV (with over 700 channels ““ most of which are crap), their own cell phone (in which calling someone is the least of the things done on the phone), video games (both hooked up to the TV as well as hand held), ipads/ipods/tablets, and computers all pulling us away from real life.  All of this technology is extremely useful as it puts desired information right at our finger tips as well as being able to talk to and even see friends, family or coworkers anywhere on the planet at any time.  Unfortunately, this same technology both pulls us away from real people and real situations, but also manipulates our views of what we think is real.  Spend your day watching any news program and you’d think the world is nothing but hate, evil, death and destruction.  Yet if you just walk outside and wander around, you’re more likely to find a friendly hello from a stranger than anything negative or violent.  It’s much easier to be rude or make a negative comment when you don’t have to look someone in the eye when doing so!

You might be asking, what’s this have to do with martial arts?  Well, one of the best ways our youth (or our adults for that matter) can be both socially accepted and participating in something healthy is through group physical activities.  Most sports accept only the best to be on the team or demand one to be competitive.  Many people are neither.  This is where the martial arts come in.  The only requirement to participate and excel in martial arts is that you put forth effort and become a better you.  You don’t have to be better than anyone else in the class.  You don’t have to win trophies or beat anyone if you don’t want to.  You just need the desire to improve yourself.  The vast majority of students that come to me are neither athletic nor competitive.  Yet over time, they all become masters of their own body and movement.  It’s also a great social outlet for people who may not fit in to any other “groups” out there.  Over the years I’ve been in martial arts I’ve seen every walk of life come through the door.  Poor, rich, black, white, young, old, talented, untalented, strong, weak, tall, short, recluse, social butterflies, victims, bullies, happy, sad, the list could go on and on.  The point is that it’s for everyone from all walks of life.  Within our walls, all the labels are shed.  We all work together.  It’s where the old may look to the young for advice, or the weak and untalented can help teach the strong and talented, and even a bully can look up to his former victim (I’ve seen this happen on more than one occasion).  The only real separation is knowledge based.  Those who have knowledge and those who wish to attain it.  Am I saying everyone skips out the door hand in hand when class is done and are friends forever?  Of course not, some do, but most end up respecting each other at the end of the day.

Technology has a tendency to pull us away from real life far too easily.  It’s clear this withdrawal from reality is having a huge negative effect on all of us.  The divide and hostility among groups of people is becoming worse due to the lack of true human interaction and misinformation from our trusted media.  Through these media we see and hear only the extreme points of view and the worst of people, rarely do we see the best and even rarer to see the normal.  With this, our perception gets distorted.  Within all of us is the potential for violence.  We are a violent creature, whether you want to believe it or not.  It’s how we climbed to the top of the food chain.  We were stronger, smarter and more violent than the rest.  Don’t give me this crap that you’re a lover not fighter!  If I violently attacked your three your old child, would you not come after me with a wrath of violence that even the devil would cringe at?  The only thing that keeps our violent nature at bay is our perceived justification for use of violence.  We don’t attack and hurt those who help us.  And generally speaking, anyone we know and come in contact with is generally accepted as someone who can help us unless proven otherwise.  Therefore, if our perception of the world is that everyone hates us and wants to hurt us or bring us down, what keeps us from inflicting violence on others?  Not a whole lot unfortunately, as it is seen through mass shootings and bombings as well as bullying.  I’m not suggesting martial arts is the end all be all answer to helping troubled souls, but it’s obvious that it helps considerably when taught correctly (I’m looking at you Master John Kreese of the Cobra Kai!).  Look at all of those who have committed violent crimes as youth over the past 20 years.  A vast majority of these troubled teens were not involved in any group activities and were heavily isolated.  They had no outlet in which to be heard or seen or loved by others.  Their perception of the world was extremely dark and violent; they themselves felt like the victims and that they were justified in their actions.  We all seek acceptance in this world as we are social creatures.  And it’s becoming quite clear that many people accept that recognition is just as meaningful as accomplishment.  While accomplishment is achieved through hard work and dedication – generally positive actions – recognition can be achieved easily through violence and with little effort unfortunately.

We’ve gone to extremes in a short amount of time when it comes to how our troubled souls interact with others.  In years past, we bottled it all up until it exploded and violence erupted.  Now in an age of “everyone is allowed their 15 min of fame” through social media and reality TV shows, we have everyone spewing forth their inner most thoughts with no filter.  That filter tends to be there when directly interacting with others, but it seems to disappear when there is disconnect between faces, such as social media sites.  This unfiltered mess brings out the worst in us.  Then to make matters worse, we are isolated.  This isolation removes us from the truth.  Isolation plays tricks with the mind and can quickly turn a sane man insane!  When were the lowest, most depressing, upsetting moments in your life?  Were they when you were surrounded by your friends and family that show love and support for you?  Or when you were alone and feeling disconnected from those who love and support you?  We’ve all had our “hermit” moments where we’ve hid from the world, but most of us get out of it.  Unfortunately, some are stuck there in a downward spiral, and this is where the issues arise.

There’s nothing wrong with the technology we have today, it’s the amount of time we spend using that technology and watching inaccurate takes from the media that is the problem.  Gavin De Becker stated it well in his book, “The Gift of Fear”, when he wrote, “…the bigger issue arises when media consumption replaces the rest of life.”  Here in lies the problem.  We spend more time viewing life and social interaction through media and technology than through actual life.  If you find that you or your child is spending far too much time viewing the world through technology, I implore you to take a step back and get involved in something real.  While I may be biased when it comes to martial arts, anything that gets you or your child interacting with others in a positive manner will help dramatically, I find martial arts is one of the few activities that accepts anyone and everyone and consistently boosts physical prowess, awareness, mental sharpness, respect, courtesy, and all around confidence in its participants.